Love Your Haterz
We all have them
They carry over into every area of our lives.
They lurk in the shadows. They openly express their disapproval.
It always seems to happen when we least expect it.
It took me a long time to realize that having HATERZ is actually a good thing.
It is a necessary part of any accomplishment.
A bi-product of success.
A right of passage.
My creative journey has caused me to release a lot of work over the years.
Some people have loved it. Some people have really disliked it, too.
I MEAN REALLY
You see... I have strong opinions.
And opinions very often cause people to feel uncomfortable.
Growth is uncomfortable
I've been a hater myself in the past, and I can tell you this in all honesty...
I didn't enjoy the person I was becoming when I allowed that kind of negativity to enter my life.
I didn't like the constant criticism and judgement I was directing at other people.
That's when I knew I had to make a change.
It just isn't who I am.
And in making good change, I learned a lot about HATERZ.
SUCCESS IS LIKE A MIRROR
When we grow, we distract and unravel the plans of others.
We threaten the egos of others. We shift the current of life.
When we test and stretch our own boundaries, we stretch the boundaries of all things.
There is a cause and effect to growth and some people just aren't ready for it.
When we experience success - and it could be success of any kind - we force others to look within.
We force the people around us to take stock of their own status of accomplishment.
And sometimes, they aren't necessarily happy with what they see.
Just because the peanut gallery is discouraging you from your dreams doesn't mean you should stop trying to achieve them. In fact - in my experience - it usually means you should keep going.
Attention people, please
If you've recently expressed an opinion about something you feel is important and you find yourself in the throws of a collective push-back...
It doesn't mean you suck.
Not only are you creating dialogue - which is important - you're also actively winning the attention of the people around you. And that is often very difficult to do.
In my career, I've made mistakes in how I express my opinion.
However, in doing so, I discovered my voice. And I continue to discover it every single day.
So I definitely don't regret it.
The trick is to express your opinion while still being kind.
Make sure the opinion you are expressing is actually yours in the first place.
Don't fight other people's battles.
You won't win.
Having HATERZ means people are listening.
You are sticking a chord and that isn't a bad thing. In fact, just as I write this, I think, oh...
I am going to get HATERZ.
It's a personal thing
People who HATE on your creative work are usually projecting an unhappy personal outlook.
It seems very strange, but HATERZ are usually far more concerned with what other people are doing than with their own affairs. And it usually has nothing to do with you.
Keep doing your thing.
Don't pay too much attention to what people are saying - especially if you're standing in your truth and the feedback is negative. They'll come and go and you'll feel pride in knowing you made the best decisions for you.
The worst thing in the world is when you allow HATERZ to influence your journey.
There is such a thing as undercover HATERZ.
I call them LIMITERS.
When loved-ones discourage you, it might be because they are envious of your courage.
It could also be that they are ignorant to your dreams.
Maybe they wish they could be brave.
They might feel lesser than you for not following their own dreams.
LIMITERS are people who pretend to support you.
And yet when the opportunity arises, they jump at the chance to hold you back.
Misery loves company and sometimes, those closest to you don't always recognize when they are weighing you down.
I am here to create. Not to compete.
You have to protect your power.
As long as you're handling the negative energy with grace, you have every right to see the situation for what it is and ignore your LIMITERS. It certainly doesn't need to mean you love them any less.
Your parents, your friends, even your spouse...
They don't always need to understand your dreams.
The point is, you have a vision.
And you have every right to pursue it.
Do it with love
I've definitely had my fair share of HATERZ.
When I was a young singer/songwriter and releasing my first album, I advertised it with promotional posters at my local high school. I remember being so incredibly proud of my hard work...
And then my fellow students went and ripped the posters down.
And that's just one example!
So I get it.
Here are three ways to love your HATERZ.
Nobody is immune to the idea of being rejected. It feels lonely and isolating.
The trouble comes when you try to ignore the hurt.
Ignore the HATERZ and develop discipline in that area.
Stop looking at their social media accounts. Stop wondering what or how they are doing.
But admit when you're hurting - even if you only admit it to yourself.
Acknowledging the pain will allow you to move on.
As with any behaviour of success, boundaries are hugely important.
When it comes to your LIMITERS especially, set some clear boundaries. There is nothing wrong with telling your loved-ones the truth.
Share your dreams ONLY with the people who lift you up.
When you find yourself in a negative situation, make every attempt to exit. If you have to leave the room, do that. Tell your friends you don't want to speak negatively about other people anymore.
That karma will return to you ten-fold.
When all else fails, love them.
Remind yourself that it has very little to do with you.
Over and over again.
By treating your HATERZ with compassion and respect, you dismantle their power.
You give them very little opportunity to continue being negative. And you gift yourself the additional brainpower it takes to be successful in pursuing your own dreams.
Don't waste your time trying to seek approval from your HATERZ.
Just accept them for what they are and move on.